Thursday, 22 September 2016

We're having a BABY!

SURPRISE! I'm having a baby! I am currently writing this almost at the 12 week mark, which feels so surreal. I can finally see the first milestone in sight and I'm so incredibly excited. To be honest, I still can't believe it's true. For starters, I'm pregnant. Secondly, the first trimester is almost over. Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what? I feel like I am. I can't wait to see my beautiful bubba at the scan. I hope she/he says hello. EEEEEEK.

Finding out the news:
I took the pregnancy test on my own one Friday night after work and the test was positive. I was shocked. Scared. Nervous. Excited. I didn't know what to feel because it came as such a huge shock. I was just pacing around, like OMG OMG OMG. I instantly picked up the phone and called Chris, all nervous and squeaky voiced. It was mad.

I calculated I'd missed my period about a week or so before I took the test, but didn't see it as a big deal because I have such irregular periods and was going through a bit of a stressful time, so I just put it down to that. The following week, I started feeling really funny. Due to the stress, I had stopped eating. I just couldn't face food. Then suddenly, I was hungry ALL THE TIME. I just thought, maybe I'm starting to feel a bit happier. I did feel happier but I didn't know why. Then I started feeling nauseous and suffering from really bad migraines. So I confided in a friend, who told me to take a test. It took me 3 days before I actually went out and bought the test, because I was so scared!

I always thought I could never have a baby, which is why it was such a huge surprise for me. I had a lot of problems with my ovaries when I was younger, and they thought I had PCOS at one point, so I guess it all remained in my head, leading to unnecessary anxieties. 

I honestly still can't believe I'm pregnant, sitting here writing this post. I'm so over the moon. It's just. Incredible. I'm definitely going to be one of those mum-to-be's who constantly talk about pregnancy. I already am!! But hey, that's not a bad thing is it?

Telling people:
We told our families pretty soon after we found it because we were just too excited and nervous. I live with my parents and Chris lives with his, as we decided to move back home and save some money (which is very important now!), so it's kind of secret we couldn't really keep! Despite the huge excitement, I couldn't eat certain things and was constantly tired, and Chris was just ecstatically happy all the time! So we decided to spill the beans pretty quickly.

Everyone has been supportive and all the excitement is building up and up. My mum and dad are going to dig out my old moses basket from when I was a baby! They said it is gorgeous and we will love it. Chris' sister (Katie) is also going to help us out a lot too as she recently had baby Archie, who's not so much a baby anymore. It was 2 years ago so she knows exactly what we're going through! We've been having frequent chats with Kate and Rik just for some advice and what we need to buy, and what we probably don't need to buy. And obviously the emotional side of things. Me being scared I'm going to get fat, why haven't I had a letter for the 12 week scan yet etc. It's been a HUGE help. So thanks you guys.

First trimester symptoms:
Morning sickness. Migraines. Sore huge, growing breasts. Absolutely no energy. Weird, itchy body. Food cravings and aversions. Heightened sense of smell. Acne. Blurry vision. Breathlessness. Emotional.

YUP. All of the above.

So I'm probably like a lot of other women getting these symptoms and some are definitely worse than others. But I kind of consider myself lucky in a way because a lot of women don't suffer from any symptoms and feel a little jealous of all these symptoms other women have. I guess, it makes it feel more real. And it feels healthy. As these are all healthy symptoms indicating you are growing a beautiful baby.

Morning sickness (or shall I shall 24/7 sickness) and migraines have most definitely been the worst symptoms for me. As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning, I felt sick, dizzy and had a banging headache. It wasn't the best. So I kept a packet of dry biscuits next to my bed to have before I stepped out of bed in the morning. I'd then make myself a glass of water and jump in the shower. It was a real struggle getting ready for work and most days, I'd give doing my make-up a miss because that concentration early in the morning, make me wanna upchuck real bad.

The only way I could describe some of the nausea I experienced was like motion sickness. If you have ever experienced car sickness you'll know what I mean. I suffer from car sickness really bad and this nausea reminded me of that. So you can imagine, I now do not want to be a car passenger. I'm the driver, always.

So basically, if I looked up or down or moved my head too much, I felt like I was going to be sick. i came over all dizzy, my head would hurt and I was sure I was going to vomit.

It was hard getting through each day at work, but I love my job and I couldn't not go in! Plus, I knew sitting at home feeling sorry for myself would do me no good! So I pushed on. And do this day, I'm still pushing on. The nausea has almost entirely gone. The headaches not. But I just take regular breaks (as I work on a computer, doing mainly design work!) and it gets me through the day. Of course, I have supportive colleagues too, which just makes the whole journey a million times better.

I suppose the good thing is that I was never really sick. Apart from once. I'll set the scene.

It was one muggy Saturday morning. I was planning on doing some tidying up at home. I already felt a bit nauseous (as with every other day!), but I decided to push through and not let it beat me this weekend. Turns out, I pushed too hard. I ended up spending the rest of the day, snuggled on my bed, in between vomiting. Yeah. It wasn't great. To add to that, I was halfway through tidying. You know that bit when you've chucked everything out of your wardrobe ready to then fold and put it all back neatly. Yeah. Pile is still on the floor. I better get to that...

In turn, this made me feel quite tearful. I just didn't want to do anything and was constantly scared of being sick again. But I knew I had to push through, go to work and make myself get out of the house for a little walk every now and then. Hence, emotions were all over the place! All I can say is, poor Chris. He was at the brunt of it ALL (love you babe).

The other symptoms were more manageable. But still a bloody pain. As everyone keeps reminding me, "it's just part of this wonderful journey you are on", "you're growing a baby, that's pretty amazing" and "these symptoms just show that baby is ok". While yes, they are right. It doesn't make it any easier! Or stop me from crying. Or stop me from wanting to kill anyone who said this to me in a time I wasn't feeling my best.

The itchy leg predicament was a funny one, which also requires another huge, soppy sorry to Chris, because oh heck, did it frustrate me. I just found myself itching, uncontrollably, all night long! I'd fall asleep... I'd wake back up itching. I'll moan and cry, itch a little more and fall back to sleep. This happened a few nights. Until that one night, this happened over and over. As usual.

Then it was 2am. I woke up. Itching so much, I thought my skin was going to bleed. I think I must have really shouted and it woke up Tracy (Chris' mum). She came hurrying in, worried. Asked what was wrong etc etc. Then the little charm came back with this MAGIC STUFF! It was a cream from The Body Shop for sore legs (weird huh?). And mate, that was it. I ate some cereal (cos obvs I was hungry after all that excitement), watched a bit of telly and went straight off to sleep. I haven't had a bad night since. MAGIC STUFF I tell ya.

I know I moan a lot and make it seem like hell. But really it is amazing and incredible and words can't really describe it. The symptoms, they get easier. During those first few weeks, you feel like it'll last forever, but it won't. I went from being nauseous every day, to just once in a while now. Writing this, I am almost at the 12 weeks mark. I have felt nauseous on and off ALL DAY. But it's freakin' hot. And hot weather and pregnancy are never going to be friends. But at the end of the day, BABY IS SAFE, MUMMY IS HEALTHY AND SOON YOU'LL ALL BE A FAMILY.

Now, I've just got to wait for that bloody 12 week scan appointment. WHERE ARE YOU? Do you not know how excited I am?!?!

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